The Evil Empire – Attack Of The Clones?

Everybody in the world of Major League Baseball knows the name of the Evil Empire. The New York Yankees are synonymous with everything that is wrong with baseball but it seems that they have their fans in the form of Chelsea Football Club.

The New York Yankees are renowned for their ability to exploit and manipulate merchandising, the media and fans in the pursuit of money, in a way in which the Disney Corporation can only envisage in their wet dreams.

Universally hated by all but their own fans, Chelsea, like the Yankees seem to have a penchant for signing unlikable players (including the arrogant, selfish and downright mundane), pushing as many different marketing aspects down you’re throats as possible and playing good-cop-bad-cop with the F.A.

It hasn’t gone unnoticed that Great Britain has become a clone of the USA in more ways than one and it seems that Chelsea are keen to follow this trend.
First there was Blair copying Bush and then the unashamed dog on a lead following into Iraq. Britain has become reminiscent of the schoolyard bullies’ best mate. The USA offers a warning to cough up you’re dinner money and then Britain cowardly leans around his fatter ally with a snarled “Yeah!”.

This is why the Buffalo is pleased to see that a player as great as Ronaldinho, even if he has dipped in form of late, has shunned a chance to cross over to ‘the Dark side’ and has instead opted to join an AC MIlan side unlikely to seal a Champions League place.

Then again even the buck-toothed genius can see that a move to Chelsea would see him become as unpopular as Michael Jackson at a tea party.

Champ by name, Chump by nature

     After witnessing Derby County get destroyed 6-0 at home to Aston Villa and looking at the debacle that is the top of the Championship, the Buffalo is wondering whether it is time to change the league system.

 

    Derby refused to spend huge sums of money when they entered the Premiership last May and have this season set the record for the lowest ever points tally in Premiership history. Currently on 11 points, even with 4 wins from their remaining 4 games they can only reach 23 points. Not only is this a dismal tally but it is embarrassing for English football. Lessons are there to be learnt from other teams that did the same in previous years.

 

    From the 12th April there are 5 different teams at the top of the Championship that could win the league. Hull City, Stoke City, Watford, Bristol City and West Bromich Albion are all seperated by only two points at the summit. Some might point out that this shows the quality of the Championship and lower leagues whereas it actually shows how poor the standard is.

    The fact that any team can take points from any other team, look at Leicester beating West Brom for example, and the inability of ‘top class’ teams to string together enough wins to pull clear in a dismal league, means that any team that miraculously goes up will find themselves back in familiar territory this time next year. If they choose to be as stubborn, or stupid you might say, as Derby County then this may be in an even more embarrassing fashion.

 

    However I embrace this outcome, for too long the ‘Big Four’ have had a monopoly over the Premiership and ruled the roost over the limp wristed F.A. Well when the rest of the league becomes as predictable as the top and the lower leagues become more exciting the F.A. will realise how bad they have done when audience figures for the top flight stagnate. People will rapidly get bored with the same monotonous results every week and turn to other leagues, maybe even sports.

   

    Maybe then the F.A. will look into sharing television money evenly, spicing up the league (Without the stupid 37th game idea!) and can finally conduct their work from somewhere outside of the colons of the  ’Big Four’.