Everybody in the world of Major League Baseball knows the name of the Evil Empire. The New York Yankees are synonymous with everything that is wrong with baseball but it seems that they have their fans in the form of Chelsea Football Club.

The New York Yankees are renowned for their ability to exploit and manipulate merchandising, the media and fans in the pursuit of money, in a way in which the Disney Corporation can only envisage in their wet dreams.

Universally hated by all but their own fans, Chelsea, like the Yankees seem to have a penchant for signing unlikable players (including the arrogant, selfish and downright mundane), pushing as many different marketing aspects down you’re throats as possible and playing good-cop-bad-cop with the F.A.

It hasn’t gone unnoticed that Great Britain has become a clone of the USA in more ways than one and it seems that Chelsea are keen to follow this trend.
First there was Blair copying Bush and then the unashamed dog on a lead following into Iraq. Britain has become reminiscent of the schoolyard bullies’ best mate. The USA offers a warning to cough up you’re dinner money and then Britain cowardly leans around his fatter ally with a snarled “Yeah!”.

This is why the Buffalo is pleased to see that a player as great as Ronaldinho, even if he has dipped in form of late, has shunned a chance to cross over to ‘the Dark side’ and has instead opted to join an AC MIlan side unlikely to seal a Champions League place.

Then again even the buck-toothed genius can see that a move to Chelsea would see him become as unpopular as Michael Jackson at a tea party.

Changes to Immigration laws, whereby immigrants will need to score a certain number of ‘points’ to enter the UK, could leave the resaturant industry reeling at the loss of thousands of workers.

The Ethnic Catering Alliance, who represent Chinese, Turkish, South Asian and other non-EU nationalities, believe that up to 30% of it’s staff will not meet the target points score.

The Buffalo finds this idea to be a smidgeon harsh on those already living in the UK, and it could possibly lead to many ‘unqualified’ immigrants simply disappearing under the radar.

But then again, maybe that is what the government, who are currently flustered by the immigration crisis that they have let develop, want.

Figures showing the amount of immigrants entering and currently residing in the country would drop and give a false but positive impression.

Spin is what the powers that be are best at and spin is what this would certainly appear to be.

More empty promises and half-cocked ideas to sway the unwashed masses into maintaining their regime of idiocy.

Now if only we could employ a similar points sytem to those leaving school with poor educations we might be able to make Britain the one proud nation it used to be.

Then again, maybe you would gain points for muggings, rapes and murders given today’s violent society.

    For what seems to be the billionth time Heather Mills McCartney has appeared on television ranting about something or other that few people know and even fewer care about according to the Mirror.

    Mucca as she is affectionately known, a nickname she picked up from her days as a porn-actress, has been banned from talking about the trial and its transcript from her separation from Beatle Sir Paul McCartney. Yet here she appears on GMTV for the third time and openly flouts the law.

    Whilst she says she is the ‘victim’ in this case the Buffalo can see through her and her ‘claims’ are runnier than the aftershock of last nights dodgy curry.

    It seems that being awarded £24.3 million of somebody else’s money for sitting on your backside and uttering ‘I do’ nonchalantly is quite a good deal and she is more of a villain than victim. Sir Paul worked extremely hard for his fortune and should be able to do what he pleases with the amount.

    In the end it is his own fault though. He should have been able to see she was a leech only in for his money. The judge in the case realised this and gave her a ‘paultry sum’ in comparison.

    Claims that her daughter, who she has used more as a pawn than a concern throughout the trial, needs over £10,000 a week to keep her in the ‘lifestyle to which she is accustomed’ are ridiculous. Does the kid crap Faberge eggs or something??

    Heather’s claims that she has helped numerous charities also fail to stand up straight, excuse the pun. Most of these benefactors have denied they have ever had any contact with her and even if they did it was Sir Paul’s money that she helped them with, certainly not her own.

    The Buffalo thinks it is about time she grew up, stopped forcing herself onto our televisions looking desperate and got herself a job. I hear that mining companies in South Africa are looking for extra gold diggers…

     After witnessing Derby County get destroyed 6-0 at home to Aston Villa and looking at the debacle that is the top of the Championship, the Buffalo is wondering whether it is time to change the league system.

    Derby refused to spend huge sums of money when they entered the Premiership last May and have this season set the record for the lowest ever points tally in Premiership history. Currently on 11 points, even with 4 wins from their remaining 4 games they can only reach 23 points. Not only is this a dismal tally but it is embarrassing for English football. Lessons are there to be learnt from other teams that did the same in previous years.

    From the 12th April there are 5 different teams at the top of the Championship that could win the league. Hull City, Stoke City, Watford, Bristol City and West Bromich Albion are all seperated by only two points at the summit. Some might point out that this shows the quality of the Championship and lower leagues whereas it actually shows how poor the standard is.

    The fact that any team can take points from any other team, look at Leicester beating West Brom for example, and the inability of ‘top class’ teams to string together enough wins to pull clear in a dismal league, means that any team that miraculously goes up will find themselves back in familiar territory this time next year. If they choose to be as stubborn, or stupid you might say, as Derby County then this may be in an even more embarrassing fashion.

    However I embrace this outcome, for too long the ‘Big Four’ have had a monopoly over the Premiership and ruled the roost over the limp wristed F.A. Well when the rest of the league becomes as predictable as the top and the lower leagues become more exciting the F.A. will realise how bad they have done when audience figures for the top flight stagnate. People will rapidly get bored with the same monotonous results every week and turn to other leagues, maybe even sports.

    Maybe then the F.A. will look into sharing television money evenly, spicing up the league (Without the stupid 37th game idea!) and can finally conduct their work from somewhere outside of the colons of the  ’Big Four’.

    Plans have been announced today to allow commercial aircraft to offer a mobile phone service on flights in European Airspace.

    UK regulator Ofcom has given the approval for this system which would involve small ‘pico cell’ systems to transmit a network around the plane.

    Personally, I think this is utter madness. Firstly it has been proven that mobile phone signals can interfere with aircraft controls, especially navigation systems. Even the slightest of miscalculations could lead to a fatal catastrophe.

     As a keen watcher of television investigation programmes such as “Seconds From Disaster” and “Survival In The Sky” it seems apparent that the most bizarre and unexpected thing can go wrong with an aircraft and bring the whole plane down.

    Scientists, engineers and other experts are often surprised by faults that occur, serious or otherwise, in parts and places that were thought to be completely safe beforehand. The truth is there are always surprises and in the sky that’s not a good thing.

    An example is that of American Airlines flight 587, in October 2001. Constant changing of pressure on the rudder by the pilot, who thought they were experiencing severe turbulance, caused the tail-fin to break off completely. Engineers had no idea that this was even possible, but it still happened.   

    So the idea of having a mobile phone service on board aircraft, even if they believe it to be 100% safe, is sticking two fingers up at the God’s and asking to be proven wrong. Something will eventually go wrong, and it will be because of an unforeseen reaction, problem or event, especially as experts KNOW that phone signals interfere with equipment.

    As the famous quote goes “In the ongoing battle between planes and the ground, the ground has yet to lose.”

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